Monroe and I were faced with a decision to make, another round of "super ovulation IUI" or move onto IVF. I was not ready to go down the IVF road, so we decided that another round of IUI is what we would do, although I must admit I was never at peace with this choice. As we were about to start the next cycle I got a phone call from Dr. Miller saying that he really believed we needed to sit out a month and go on a low dose birth control to regulate my system again. It seems that my body was not responding as well to the stimulation medications as it had in months before, and he wanted to "down regulate" me in order to rev up my system again. I got off the phone totally defeated, and heart broken. Monroe was in a meeting so I was unable to talk with him. I spent about an hour praying and realized this was an answer to our prayers; we had been asking the Lord to make it clear what our next steps should be. He was answering so clearly, IVF is the direction we needed to take. I was suddenly filled with such a peace with this choice. Why stimulate my body in hopes that it works (and that we don't overstim) for another IUI just to get more negative results? I made the call to the office the next morning and told my nurse we would be moving forward with IVF.
So now 3 weeks later we find ourselves about to start the IVF cycle. I must admit I didn't ever allow myself to picture us in this place, but here we are and we are at peace with it. I would be lying if I said we weren't scared, but our excitement outweighs our fears. The Lord completely broke me, He brought me to my knees and I had no other choice than to turn to Him, and trust this was what He has written for us. I have chosen to take each step in obedience and turn to Him for my comfort and my strength. I really have never felt such comfort and peace about anything in my life, I know the Lord is giving me this strength and it really is the best feeling. I know the Lord is giving Monroe the patience and empathy, and strength to get us through this. I constantly look to Monroe to hold my hand, to care for me and to protect me; I am so thankful for his loving nature and his true understanding of what all this process involves for me. I am blessed by him greatly!
We covet your prayers and assure you they are felt. These next few weeks will be a challenge but we are trusting and praying and know that He has us in His hands and gives us a peace that passes all understanding.