Last Friday 6 days into the Menopur (the follicle stimulating) injections my estrogen hadn't climbed at all, in fact it fell. My estradiol was only at 22 when it should have been over 1000 at least. I had gone to the doctors that morning and could see from my ultrasound that we didn't have much follicle development, I had a lot they just were not measurable at all. I thought that only being 6 days into to the actual stim part of the cycle we still had time; and from past experience I knew that I was a "late bloomer". After getting home Dr. Miller called and explained to me that I just wasn't responding the way I should and that we had over suppressed me with the birth control as well as with the Lupron injections, and that we would be calling off the cycle. I honestly had no clue this was coming, I knew my numbers were low but I was totally shocked and devastated. Just a short while after talking to Dr. Miller, my nurse Susan called and explained everything to me, I tried to understand through my tears and my mind spinning but I knew I would have to call her back to get all of the information she was giving me again. Just 15 days into this cycle we had to give up all hope that this was our month.
Over the past 2 years through this journey I have had my low moments, but never a moment where I felt like I couldn't go on, something I actually prided myself on, well, here was my moment. This was our month, I honestly thought I was going to be pregnant, I was SO positive this was going to work. It never crossed my mind that we wouldn't get pregnant, let alone have to call off the cycle. I had just had my pre-op that morning, how was the cycle being called off?
Monroe and I decided that we would go and visit my parents for a few days to get our mind off of everything. We booked a flight and were on our way. It was so fun because we were able to surprise my Daddy on his birthday, and be able to share Father's Day with him and my Papa. We really did have a great time while we were home. It was so nice to be able to have fun with my parents and have so much support.
So where are we now? We are "sitting out" yet another month. I am being given hormone supplements through patches, pills and creams to mimic a natural cycle. On July 10th, I will stop all the supplements and we will start a different IVF protocol. (I will share more about that protocol once I get more information and understand it more). I have done a complete diet overhaul, doing an "infertility diet" (more on that to come), and eating lots of foods that increase estrogen and staying away from all foods that block estrogen. I still hurt, but I have found hope in this next cycle and am choosing to believe just as much as I did for this cycle. We are discouraged but know that each set back puts us one step closer to being parents because the doctors are figuring out what will work for us. We are trusting that the Lord has a purpose in that sudden stop of that round of IVF and that His timing is better than ours.
I have said this before but once again I am just so humbled by the love of my friends and family. Thank you for letting me vent, cry, and be angry. Thank you so much for your sweet phone calls and texts, and care packages. I just love ya'll so much, you really have no idea.
I thought I would share a few pictures from while we were in Alexandria visiting my parents, we sure did have fun.
|Right after we got there Friday night! Happy Birthday Daddy!!|
|Luigi's! Mommy and daddy used to go on dates here and it has always been a family favorite. I just love DC|
|This was our first time to Luigi's together.|
|At The Birchmere is Alexandria|
|We were excited for the concert to start|
|Silly daddy and hubby|