Monday, March 18, 2013

"Faith in God includes faith in His timing"

I first wrote about our struggle with infertility over a year ago. So much has changed in this past year and we have come so far, but still are without a precious child in our arms. We trust the the Lord's timing is better than ours and He knows the desires of our heart.

Once we moved to South Carolina, I didn't waste anytime to meet with our new RE, Dr. Miller. He is part of a group in Greenville, Fertility Center of the Carolinas, we just love him and all of the other doctors we have worked with. From our very first meeting Dr. Miller figured out things that our doctor in Dallas didn't figure out in a year. I do not have PCOS, it is a problem with my hypothalamus, my brain isn't signaling my body to produce hormones. All of what our doctor in Dallas tried wasn't going to work because he was trying to fix something that wasn't broken. To make a long story short, it was really wonderful to hear Dr. Miller explain to me what was really wrong and have all my symptoms line up perfectly. He did however say that I really needed to have surgery to remove the septum from my uterus.

Dr. Miller did my surgery in November, and this past month we finally got the clear to start trying again. This was our first injection cycle as well as our first IUI cycle. We started with Follistim injections, and then when we went for our day 12 ultrasound the medication was not doing what it should be doing. We switched to Menpour injections for the rest of the cycle. I have never been a fan of needles. Through this journey I had finally gotten to the point where I was ok with blood work and shots at the doctors office...but getting a shot from your husband who is in Finance by trade not in any way medical related is a whole different story. I was brave he was brave and we got them done. I must say that Monroe was an awesome shot giver, he was patient and sweet and I hardly felt them at all. Things looked pretty good this month and we were able to do IUI the first week of March.

I had a gut feeling that it didn't work the whole waiting period, I am not sure why I felt this way but I really did, and I was didn't work. As sure as I was that this month the pregnancy test would be negative, it still really stings. My sweet friend put it perfectly she said "Katie as sure as you were it was going to be negative, you desperately wanted to be wrong" she was so right, I wanted to be proven wrong.

We are ready for what this next month brings, and as my sweet mother in law said, "its not starting over its just the next leg of the journey, even though its a hard one".

As each month passes through this journey I am amazed how the Lord is brining people into my life and how they have been an encouragement to me. I couldn't make it through this journey with out my faith, my precious husband, my family and friends. I love you all so much and thank you for the prayers, they sure are felt!


  1. I'm so sad to hear this cycle wasn't the one. But you are so right, HE know the best timing for us and our families! I'm praying that the next cycle is the one!

  2. I am thinking of you guys and praying that God sees your heart and provides your desires! I have no doubt that you guys will be amazing parents! I know all too well how hard this journey is but trust me that it has its purpose and so much good will come from it! The closeness you feel with Monroe for one. This type journey really does bond you in ways you never imagined. I hope you are feeling well and feel peaceful in taking the next steps. You are in awesome hands with Dr. Miller and I look forward to hearing more about your experience. I am here for you if I can be of any encouragement or for any need I can fill. Just let me know :D And congrats on the new beautiful home. I know you are over the moon to have it!

  3. Praying for you as you prepare for the next round.

  4. I often look back on our journey to babies, and I can see so clearly how they came at the EXACT right time. I couldn't see it then, but I can now. You are so, so right. . . God's timing is best. Keep focused on that!

    Your new house is just beautiful! Congratulations!

  5. I am continuing to pray for you. I know there are no words or comfort really other than that. It took us 7 months after the surgery, and I remember those months still so clearly. His timing truly is perfect.

  6. Katie, I am so sorry that this month wasn't it for you guys. I understand...with every fiber of my being. We tried for years and each month it was more and more difficult. In my head I firmly believed God's timing was/is perfect but sometimes my heart was just lagging a bit behind because it was broken.

    I don't know what God has planned for you. I had no idea what He had planned for me. But we trust that His plan and His timing is more than we could hope for or imagine.

    I wrote this post last July when my husband and I were a few months off of our second failed IVF attempt. We were waiting for direction on where to move next and I felt like God was moving us, preparing our hearts once again (because you do have to "gear up" for it emotionally, physically, mentally) only to be let down. Instead, it was once again God's will, His timing, His hand in everything we did. I hope He speaks to you exactly when you need it in the exact way you need it so you can feel Him so near. Sometimes I felt so alone. And then sometimes He would shine His face on me where I knew, without a doubt, I was wrapped up in His presence.

    Praying you feel Him so near. And praying He answers your prayers, and the prayers of many on your behalf, in the most mighty way that only He can.


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