One Year Ago

One year ago today I saw something we had been praying to see for a long time, 2 pink lines on a pregnancy test. I was NOT supposed to take a test, in fact I had promised many (including myself) that I would not; however, when Monroe asked me to and said he would go buy one I caved. We were so excited, I can still feel that excitement today.

A year later....in some way it feels like it was just yesterday and in other ways it feels like a life time ago.  I never imagined that we would not have that baby today, that baby should be 3 months old and starting to laugh and coo. When we found out that we had lost that pregnancy, I thought that we would get pregnant easily when we did the frozen transfer a few months later. Those were some really hard days for us, and looking back on them I can see Gods grace and the way that He was working on our hearts.

As I sit here a year later still without a child in my arms I am still filled with hope. Monroe and I have so much faith that we are walking God's path for us, and that is so exciting. Surrogacy is not the path that I thought we would take, but it has been such an amazing journey so far. God sent us the most amazing selfless woman who is willing to carry our child for us. The hope and excitement that we have for the next few months is more than we have ever had before. Yes, I have some really hard days, and days where I really struggle but I am so ready for this journey.

We are so blessed by all the people we have praying for us, please continue to pray for us as we continue on this journey.

Little Update

Wanted to give everyone a little update on where we are in the process to having baby Campbell. I posted on our fundraising page that we had found a "potential" surrogate. I want to make sure that I update the blog as well as the fundraising page. 

We have found a wonderful woman with a heart of gold, and we are praying that everything continues to go smoothly so that we can get the REAL show on the road. Soon, I will be sharing more about our surrogate, but for now, lets call her A. 

Monroe and I took A and her husband out to dinner a few weeks ago and we connected immediately. A and I had already been talking quite a bit, and I had a really good feeling about her. We spent 4 hours at dinner and talked about everything. Let me tell you, we were wondering what the people at the table behind us were thinking, we had some pretty funny moments. Honestly, there are parts of this process that are so odd you just have to laugh. Think about it...she (hopefully) will become pregnant with OUR child, that STILL blows my mind. When your husband tells another woman "we just need to get you pregnant" that is not a normally acceptable comment; however in this situation 100 percent normal and 100 percent true.

Once again, our doctor is amazing and had unbelievable resources for us, and gave us the name of a great lawyer that specializes in this. We met with him and his team and got things moving. A and her husband had their home study on Tuesday, and in a few weeks A and I will go and meet with Dr. Miller to start the medical screening process. 

I look so forward to sharing how A and I got in contact, and to share more about this whole process and more about this amazing woman. We had been praying for this for such a long time, we prayed for someone who first and foremost had a heart for Jesus and A sure does. She has already been a blessing to us just by getting to know her. I really can NOT wait to see where this journey takes us. 

Please be praying for all the ground work that needs to get done, and for the medical screening. Things have been progressing rapidly and it's really exciting we just want to be sure that we are following God's lead. Also if you would please pray for our fundraising efforts, we are so grateful for all the donations that have been made. 

Stay tuned...there is so much more to share!! I can say one thing, Monroe and I haven't been this excited in a long time!

Click the picture above to be connected to the fundraising page

Fundraising

We are officially underway!!!!!!

I had mentioned in my post announcing that we are using a gestational carrier that we were working on a fundraising page. Well, it is finally up and running and we are so excited about it. Please stop by and check it out here.
       
I thought I would share a little bit about my feelings about our fundraising. I have really struggled with the idea of fundraising. It has been a major pride issue for me, I didn't want to admit that Monroe and I could not do this on our own. Truth of the matter is we can not do it alone and I can't be ashamed of that. I am not sure why I have struggled so much with this, but it is just another way I have see the Lord really work in my heart. I have truly had to humble myself and ask for help.

Monroe and I are just blown away by the generosity of people in just the few days we have had the site up and running.

Thank you again to all who have given we are beyond thankful. We would love if you would pass on our site to your friends and family.

National Infertility Survival Day

National Infertility Survival Day...who knew there was such a day? Honestly, it makes me laugh a little. After reading a little bit about this holiday of sorts, the day always falls the Sunday before Mother's day (once again insert laughing). In fact when you read about it online it gives you "date suggestions" for the day...Monroe and I will not be celebrating our infertility tonight with a date.

Laughing aside, surviving infertility is not easy. There are many days when I pretend I am ok when I am really not, there is a deep emptiness and hurt that I carry, and some days are better than others. It is a hard feeling for people on the outside to understand. I know that a lot of the time I feel like people walk on eggshells around us, when we really just want them to be normal and real with us. 

As Monroe and I have started a new chapter in our infertility journey it brings about more questions, more worry and more trusting in the Lord to guide our steps and give us the desires of our hearts. We are not only surviving infertility we are praying to beat infertility. 

Big News!!

No I am not pregnant!

I haven't given an update on our journey to start a family in awhile. We have had a lot going on and we wanted to keep things quiet until now. Monroe and I are so excited to announce that we will be using a gestational carrier.

Since this is most definitely not the norm, here is a little information on what exactly a gestational carrier is.

A gestational carrier (GC) is a woman who volunteers to carry a pregnancy for someone who cannot otherwise carry a pregnancy for herself (someone who has had her uterus removed due to health problems, or someone who has a non functional uterus) The woman carrying the pregnancy is in no way biologically or genetically related to the child she is carrying - she is merely providing a nurturing environment in the form of a uterus for the child to grow for the gestational period of 40 weeks. The eggs and sperm are derived from the "intended parents" (IPs) through the process of In Vitro Fertilization, fertilized in the lab, and then the embryo (or embryos) are placed into the uterus of the gestational carrier. (Source: Shady Grove Fertility)

Monroe and I are both so excited about this next step in our journey but there are also a lot of nerves that come along with this. We are not yet sure if we will be going independent (going indy as it is called) or if we will be using an agency that we have spoken with in Atlanta. We are just in the beginning stages of this journey, as the price tag that comes with using a gestational carrier is very high . We know that Lord has lead us to this, and we trust that He will provide a woman who is willing to carry our child and that He will provide the finances. We are in the process of developing a fundraising page, and as soon as that is complete I will be sharing that, and we ask that you please share our story with others.

I am going through a mourning process of knowing that I will never carry our baby, I will never feel what it feels like to be pregnant or give birth, but I am so thankful that there is a woman out there who has the heart to carry our child. I have moments where I just sob and moments where I am just so excited I can hardly stand it. One of my best friends said to me the other night "Katie, the excitement that you feel now is only the start to the amount of excitement you are going to feel" and I know she is right.

Please be praying for the woman who is going to be carrying our child/children. Please pray for the financial aspect of this, and that our fundraising is successful. Please pray for Monroe and I as we enter these last and final stages of this long journey we have been on. We praise the Lord for brining us to this point and we are so thrilled to see where He is taking us.

Ladies and gentlemen hold on as we hope you will get on for this part of our journey with us.

Lazy Girls Five on Friday

I have not had a very productive week, thanks to a not so little thing called a progesterone and oil injection. Every morning I say to Monroe, I am just not going to do the shot today and he replies "get up and get it ready it's not an option". So this weeks 5 of Friday is going to be titled Lazy Girls 5 favorite things.

{one}

My phone. I had some really fun conversations this week catching up with friends. I really am so thankful for my girlfriends! I am super thankful that they didn't hang up on me when I had "progesterone rage" and was not my typical friendly self, but more of a grumpy, mean, snappy, critical version of myself. 

I really really REALLY love with my new iPhone case from Rifle Paper Co.

{two}

For Christmas my brother gave us this amazing throw from Restoration Hardware. It is so warm and comfy. It has been a chilly week, and I have loved curling up on the sofa with this cozy blanket. 

This happened a lot this week

{three}

Acupuncture. This isn't really lazy, but it sure is relaxing! I could write an entire post on how much I love acupuncture. I have been going every week at least one time for the past five months. I was very nervous and very skeptical about it the first time I went, but it only took one time to be hooked. I say all of the time that acupuncture has changed my life. I started going as part of our infertility treatment, and it has helped; however, what it has helped the most is my stress and anxiety levels I feel like a new person. I go to The Center of Bliss in Greenville and see Katie, she is the best!! I suggest if you have anything wrong you try acupuncture I truly can't believe what it has done for me

{four}

I have been watching a lot of The Pioneer Woman. I have been watching a lot of cooking shows this week but not doing any cooking. I love her recipes, they are simple and oh so yummy. Her show is so refreshing and fun, her family is sweet and you can tell they really adore each other. I got both of her cookbooks for Christmas and have also been going through those this week marking different meals that I can't wait to try.

{five}

Since I have been so lazy this week my new dry shampoo has been my bestie. Last week Redken had a special of buy 2 get 1 free, so I got my shampoo and conditioner and got this awesome dry shampoo. It will now be a staple in my bathroom cabinet.

Here is to a MUCH more productive week next week!! Happy Friday friends!

I saw this earlier this week and it made me laugh. Just a little infertile humor.

Lauren's Etsy Shop

Linking up with Kelly's Korner this evening to share one of my dearest friends Etsy store. Lauren aka The Swirl Girl is super talented and her adorable burlap door hangers often brighten up my front door.

From the moment Lauren and I met we because fast friends and I am so grateful for her friendship. We have gone from sitting just a few feet from each other every day at work to now being separated by almost 1,000 miles (Waco, TX to Anderson, SC) our friendship still remains strong and continues to grow. Besides being talented, Lauren is one of the most kind, giving and Godly women I know. She is a constant encouragement to me and always reminding me of the truth!

Make sure you check out her Esty shop at The Swirl Girl.

Just in time for Easter

Love you sweet friend!